Hard truths uncovering a personal transformation

As part of a commitment to my health that has been unfolding for over a year now (so no, it wasn’t a new resolution), I found myself in the waiting room of a Medical Weight Management clinic. That’s hard to admit out loud, people.

But in the hard stuff, there’s often opportunities for transformation, and this was one of those times.

Sitting there in the lobby, I found time freezing around me. I “saw” all the ways that I have been on the hamster wheel of action trying to avoid this very moment. All the times I have skipped events (or photo shoots). All the diets I have tried. All the justifications. All the exercise regimens.

All the shame of not being able to DO what I need to DO to be the right weight. To be the right size.

All the effort to cover up that shame – giving myself platitudes and excuses, “You don’t need to look like a model,” or “F-k the culture that tells me what size I need to be”.

But as time froze, I could see that under all the action and the cover-up was a true misalignment with who I am at a Soul level – what I want to be able to do as a Soul and cannot because of my size.

As I got more curious and went a layer deeper, I began to see under the physical misalignment to the edges of the original misalignment. I’m not completely sure what that is yet, but it centers around my voice and using my voice as a sovereign being. My weight is a result of the original misalignment, not the food or exercise.

The weight that has been creeping on for 20+ years was a signal from my Soul that I was misaligned.

What if instead of pushing against what I didn’t want (I don’t want to be FAT! I better zip into action), I surrendered to the fact that I was receiving a message from my body. I certainly didn’t have the skills 20 years ago to listen.

I do now.

What would happen if each of us surrendered to the messages our bodies, or our bank accounts, or our emotions are sending?

What would happen if instead of deciding that this “bad experience” or this hard emotion or this joy-less life experience is happening NOT because we are un-worthy, not because there is something essentially wrong with us, not something that we have to cover up and hide but rather cozy up to. Get to know it. Ask it what it saying to us?

What if we could all accept that abundance is our birthright and anything outside of that is our Soul and the Divine trying to get our attention?

(And btw, abundance is what we decide it is. Time. Joy. Love. Freedom. Money. And in what quantity. There is no “should” or “have to” amount to qualify as Abundance)

What if we left time for true, Soul-level transformation instead of hiding behind action and striving and pushing and doing a big circus act so no one else can see there is something wrong?

What if instead of trying to manipulate everything outside of us to “make” us happy we did the only thing that really creates change: listening to our Soul. Changing the Abundance Identity that we have that was put in place by listening to other people who were out of alignment?

I invite you to stop your own hamster wheel of action and cover up regarding abundance so that you can see what is really underneath.

What is your Soul trying desperately to get you to understand? What could unlock your flow like never before?

I would love to hear what you come up with. Let’s normalize these deeper dives into Truth.

And, if you would like assistance with your own transformation, your own journey of resetting your Abundance Identity back to the truth that abundance is a birthright, simply reply to this email with I’M READY, and I’ll get a link to you for a conversation.

I honor your Soul’s voice and I look forward to listening.