Shameless… A Personal Story

Every chance I get, I share that money is a teacher.

Class was certainly in session for me this week. I had a situation happen around receiving money from other people that created an overwhelming wave of shame.

Shame is an emotion that hasn’t been connected with money for me for a very long time. I thought I’d “fixed” this.

(Hint: if you find yourself angry because you’re experiencing an emotion or a particular type of life event… stop yourself as soon as possible.

Being “fixed” is a mindset that perpetuates the idea you were broken in the first place. While we are human, we are the proverbial onions. At the core of the onion is our deepest wound, which draws experiences, emotions, and situations that mimic the core.

The more re-connected we become, the more layers of the onion become exposed and look familiar. Fear not. You are doing nothing wrong. You are stepping more completely into the fullness of your being. When you look at the layer with curiosity you will hear the next divinely inspired step to reclaim your wholeness.)

After a few ugly-cry minutes, I took a breath, engaged my tools, and had a HUGE ah-ha.

The shame was coming from a young part of me that was having trouble feeling enough. I asked that part, “At that time, who was I measuring myself against?” The two people who popped up in my mind weren’t a surprise, but the thought associated with them was new.

It was true; I wasn’t enough for them — and that’s okay.

Better stated: I wasn’t enough compared with them — and that’s a good thing.

Best stated: I wasn’t them. Freedom.

At that time in my life, I compared how I showed up in the world versus how they showed up in the world, and concluded I was lacking. At some level I decided that different = not enough.

From my vantage point today, I can tell that part of me: I was never meant to be them. I wasn’t enough compared to them and that’s a GOOD thing. We are all unique beings. If we measured enoughness based on our similarities, the world would be an incredibly boring place.

Our enoughness comes from our Soul-derived-being and the fact we are of the Divine. Our expression of the Divine is always going to be different from everyone else. Young souls can confuse “different” and “enough.”

How this relates to money: We often limit our receiving because at some level we (unconsciously) don’t feel deserving, or enough to receive. This old part of me was still resisting receiving until I was “enough” based on old standards that were never mine to use anyway.

Now that I have re-integrated that part of me, I feel a fullness that wasn’t present before and an even deeper level of knowing of my own Inner Capital. I’ve re-opened a channel of receiving and am shameless (in the best way possible!).

The lessons aren’t always comfortable, but money is an amazing catalyst and teacher. What is money teaching you that you are ready to embody today?

Jennifer Bloome is the Fertile Business Midwife. Jennifer helps people identify and heal the blocks that are keeping them from the prosperous, fertile, Soul-satisfying life and business they desire. Ready to transform? Visit JenniferBloome.com to set up your complimentary Belief Discovery Session to begin to identify and heal your personal blocks that are keeping you from your own prosperous life.

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