The Downside of Setting an Intention (a Personal Story)


Don’t get me wrong. Having focus, purpose, and specific intentions is essential. Sometimes, however, the middle part between setting the intention and having it come to fruition is messy. And in that messiness, we can get so upside down we forget to continue on the path towards our intention.

Let me give you an example.

A couple of months ago, I spent time getting really clear about what I wanted for my business. Clarity about being seen. Clarity about who I wish to serve with my work. Clarity about loving and accepting my gifts fully and unapologetically. Clarity about how I wanted the business to give back to me, financially and in respect to time.

I felt uber good about the clarity. I felt focused, on purpose and clear about my intentions for the rest of the year. Part of my morning spiritual practice was spent envisioning and feeling this focus and purpose. I could literally feel the Universe rearranging itself to respond to my intention.

And then my personal life absolutely exploded.

My marriage of almost 25 years seemed to be crumbling right before my eyes. I could hardly recognize how either of us was being in relationship. In the space of just a few weeks, I felt like we had stepped on to an unstoppable train taking us directly towards divorce. This wasn’t what I wanted at all, and yet I knew there was no way to live with the situation as it was.

There was no way to be in the situation and be the person who could follow the intention she set with so much focus, purpose, and clarity. I had put a stake in the ground, so to speak, due to my intention and clarity and now it was time to choose how to honor that stake.

There was a point in the crumbling situation where my husband and I both had to stop and ask: what do we want to happen? It was truly a fish or cut bait moment. We were either in or out. And we each had to make that decision for ourselves.

As I allowed myself some quiet space to make my decision, the answer came to me quickly and with new clarity that I didn’t expect.

I knew, with my whole heart, that I was in. But it would require some letting go:

Letting go of how I thought life should and would be.
Letting go of some of the situations I have manifested.
Letting go of how he handles his life and decisions.
Letting go of my desire to “help.”
Letting go of my focus of what was wrong in our marriage and retraining the focus on what was right and what I wanted.

And then most eye opening for me:

Letting go of the story I told about how he lives life impacts my business.
Letting go of the story he has to be a certain way, so I can receive.
Letting go of the story my financial situation has anything to do with him.

And in these realizations, I witnessed the presence of the Universe, rearranging molecules to co-create my intentions with me. This is who I “needed” to be to allow the unfolding of what I really want.

Messy? Absolutely.
Divine? Definitely.

Could this have happened in a less painful way? Probably. However, I have been dealing with the entanglement of love and money issues for a long time. Honestly, it’s probably been since I was a young child. So there was a lot of energy tied up in this issue.

My husband and I are working through the relationship aspect of this unfolding. And I am doing the inner work to support BEING the me that supports the unfolding of my heart’s desires. Fortunately, these are unfolding in a harmonious way. I know that no matter what I am loved and supported, but being in this relationship is part of my heart’s desire.

I am deeply grateful we didn’t get so caught up in the messiness of this big shift that I lost complete connection to my intentions. I recognize the deep connections I have made to myself and my Soul as well as to my sacred practice all supported me in a profound way throughout this unfolding.

Keep setting intentions. Keep aligning more fully with who you are. And when life gets messy, allow that mess to lead you to an even deeper connection. Your heart’s desires are there in that alignment.

Jennifer Bloome is the Fertile Business Midwife. Jennifer helps people identify and heal the blocks that are keeping them from the prosperous, fertile, Soul-satisfying life and business they desire. Ready to transform? Visit to set up your complimentary Belief Discovery Session to begin to identify and heal your personal blocks that are keeping you from your own prosperous life.

Posted in