Dark Night of the Soul Wisdom

At the end of 2011, I had a reading from a mentor of mine. Using Animal Medicine cards, she shared the theme of my upcoming year: Loyalty, specifically learning about loyalty as it relates to Source, to God.

I found this intriguing because over the last several years I have been deepening into my connection with Source and understanding at a body level how that connection feeds a prosperous business. So, I looked forward to the year and the concept unfolding for me.

Throughout the year, new information, new “knowings” have been unfolding right and left. My practice of connecting with the Divine has deepened and I really thought I was “getting it.”

Then it all, seemingly, fell apart. Over the last several months, I’ve been experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul; a down on my knees, palms up, pleading with the Infinite for answers and resolution kind of Dark Night.

The main question I noticed that I was asking was, “Why aren’t you hearing me? I’m following all the ‘rules’ of asking, of manifestation, why aren’t you sharing the abundance that I know is possible in life? Why are you taking away the areas where I’ve always had great abundance, like health?”

“#!^&! Where’s the loyalty?”

What I was really asking was, “Where are you?”

And what I heard was, “Where are you? When will you allow me in?”

Here is what I finally understood: God is as loyal as you allow her to be.

From the one year I spent in Religious Education in third grade, I created this picture of God as a man with a long white beard, full of judgment, someone you needed to prove yourself to, and who was waiting to hand out blessings IF you proved yourself.

In other words, God was in control. God made the decisions. My job was to wait. Wait and see if I was worthy. Wait and see if I would receive blessings.

This is not a picture that melds with my now understanding of Source and laws of the Universe. Yet, this was still in the background, affecting my relationship with Source Energy.

Source was loyal to this buried, background understanding. Source was so loyal that it responded to me exactly as I expected.

I was waiting. So Source was waiting.

I’m now seeing the places where I wasn’t allowing Source to work its magic, the places where I was steadfastly holding God out of my life because I needed it to show up differently, the places where I was waiting for God to act FIRST, so I could then make a decision that I was worthy of blessings.

What does this have to do with building a prosperous, fertile business?

When you are a heart-centered entrepreneur, deepening your connection with Source is the key to creating an authentic and prosperous business. You literally won’t do it any other way; no hard selling tactics, marketing pushiness, or over-the-top techniques are going to fly with you.

At the same time, you can try as many spiritual ‘tactics’ as you want — affirmations, visualizations and more — but if you are holding on to old beliefs about how to work with Source, you will only be frustrated in your attempts.

I know first hand.

Source is as loyal to you as you are to Source.

Are you willing to be loyal to Source?

Take a breath and ask yourself honestly, “Where am I? How am I allowing my connection to flow?”

What can you release, so Source’s loyalty reflects the desires of your heart and Spirit?

Jennifer Bloome is the Fertile Business Midwife. Jennifer helps people identify and heal the blocks that are keeping them from the prosperous, fertile, Soul-satisfying life and business they desire. Ready to transform? Visit JenniferBloome.com to set up your complimentary Belief Discovery Session to begin to identify and heal your personal blocks that are keeping you from your own prosperous life.


  1. Wow! That was incredibly powerful information. So many people have grown up with a distorted view of God. Can’t wait to see your full transformation!

    • Jennifer Bloome says

      Thank you, Maggie!

      Yes, so many of us have a very different idea of what God/Source/Universe is all about. Those early learnings are so powerful.

  2. WOW Jennifer, I have faith you will come through. Can’t wait to see what becomes of your journey.
    Once again another articles of yours feel like you are in my head! Though I haven’t begun this path, I have felt it and have been keeping it at arms length! This gives me encouragment to surrender to the process or I will continue in the same disconected circle with now end if I don’t. Thank you Divine for embracing Jennifer on her path, so that she can encourage us on our Journey’s!!!

    • Jennifer Bloome says

      Thank you, Jen!

      Open to the pull…it’s only our minds that tell us we won’t survive the process.

      There is so much on the other side!

      With love,


  3. Jennifer,
    I also learned about that stereotypical version of God and though I’d like to think that consciously I am in a different place, I felt a “me too” when you spoke of the source energy that you were waiting for, rather than reaching out or just remaining open to that connection. I’m going to bring your questions to my mediation time over the next several days and see what sort of answers come to me. thank you!

    • Jennifer Bloome says


      I think that the shift happens in layers and stages. Perhaps those internal parts that continue to tell the story that it would simply be easier if there were a force that “bestowed” blessings without any effort needed on our part…something that would simply make life easier. There are days when I have those “white knight” kinds of desires still.

      And yet.

      And yet.

      And yet.

      What a powerless position. Always waiting. Always hoping. Forgetting that, truly, we are the ones we are waiting for.

      I look forward to hearing your ah-has.

      Many blessings,


Share Your Thoughts and Leave Us a Comment