The anatomy of getting what you want


I have been in Physical Therapy for the last several months to correct an imbalance that has been showing up as hip pain. As I look back, I have had this imbalance for decades, probably since my last pregnancy (and that child is now 21…).

I’ve been managing it with chiropractors, energy medicine, different exercise programs, etc. The pain would get better for a while, but then it would reappear with a vengeance and I’d have to stop doing the things I love (walking Sadie, hiking on weekends).

Eventually, things got so bad that I could no longer sit, stand, get in or out of a car without extreme pain. Cooking, cleaning, driving, or long days helping clients were all off the table. Sleep happened in 30 minute chunks because that was when the pain would wake me and get me to shift positions.

For a variety of reasons, I ended up seeing a new chiropractor who was brutally honest with me. She told me (after verifying through a visit and tests with an MD) that my muscles were severely compromised and if I didn’t get some really structured care, I wasn’t going to be able to walk without extreme pain, ever.

Off to PT I went!

What I discovered was that one set of muscles had completely stopped working and another set of muscles were over-compensating so strongly that they were squeezing my hip joint to the point of nerve compression. More importantly, while the pain was expressing itself in my hip/leg, it was ultimately a back/spine issue.

Knowing the root of the issue has completely changed my course of treatment. Instead of chasing the end result of pain, I’m treating the cause and finally getting some lasting relief.

How often do you chase “pain” when you’re trying to get what you want?

I recognize that pattern in myself – not just with this body issue, but in many areas of my life. I’m curious if you’ll recognize yourself here too:

When the pain we’re feeling is not enough money in our business, we seek answers through: new marketing, social media strategies, copywriting, finding new ways to be seen and heard, changing our message.

When we aren’t getting the love we want in a relationship, we might seek answers in retreats, listening skills courses, finding new partners, and more.

When we want a better-feeling body we look to exercise, nutrition, vitamins, supplements, alternative care.

If we are overwhelmed by trying to make life better we try mindset shifts, belief busting, stepping into causes we believe, releasing what’s creating pain, asking our partners to take up some of the mental load.

Certainly any one of these efforts could create some change – for a while. But they are all, at some level, chasing the pain.

What is the root cause? As a culture, we don’t know how to receive.

We know how to work, hustle, effort, give (and give and give), follow the rules, put in the hours, keep our nose to the grindstone, and any other metaphor that you can come up with.

But we don’t know how to receive.

Our hustle and effort over-compensate for our inability to receive. But eventually, just like my body showed me, the action of the overcompensation ends up creating its own kind of pain.

Receiving is our natural, hard-wired state.

When I realized this for myself and started actively opening to receive, life started to shift. I found the new chiropractor who started me on my journey to real relief. I found a new spiritual practice that is connecting me to intuition and wisdom like never before. I opened to a new level of love with my husband and just this past weekend we made a decision that is going to impact our financial flow in amazing ways. I have received incredible support from the business mentors I have.

I could go on and on.

Receiving is the root of having what you want. And it is the heart of my new program designed to open you to what you want as well.

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