Witnessing the Birth of a Negative Belief

A couple of seasons ago, I was at a soccer field watching my then 9-year-old play with her team. Sitting next to me was a mother who not only had a daughter on the field, but she also had an 8-year-old, 2-year-old, and an infant with her.

Being a mother of three children, I know we all have days when we’d win “Mother of the Year” and days when we would be the last person in the world to accept it that day. So what I am going to say next doesn’t come from a place of judgment, but more from a place of observation.

The two year old kept wandering away. “GET OVER HERE,” mom would yell, “I have a game to watch.” Then when that didn’t work (after the third or fourth time) she would stalk over to the little girl and drag her back.

After this happened a couple of times, the next time she dragged the girl back she sat her down hard and said to her, “Why don’t you ever do what you are told? You KNOW better. How STUPID are you? Grow up and do what you’re told. You better start listening up.” And on and on. After the screaming stopped, the little girl sat and didn’t move while Mom watched the last half hour of the game without saying anything to her.

First and foremost, my heart hurt for this little girl. I offered multiple times to hold the baby, so the Mom could pay more attention, but she’d just give me a cheery, “Oh, I’m just fine!”

But what I really became aware of was that not only was the little girl receiving all these harsh words, but the infant on her lap was soaking it all in too.

As someone who helps adults heal their underlying beliefs, it struck me how ingrained our patterns are. Here was a seven month old and a two year old soaking in all their Mother’s words and making decisions based on them.

Now, I can’t know for sure, but some of those decisions might be:

I better do what’s right, or I’ll get yelled at or punished.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to be.
I’m a bad person.
I can’t ever do anything right.
In order to get attention I have to be perfect.
People in my life are unpredictable; I better walk around on eggshells to keep them happy.
I’m not worthy of someone paying attention to me.

These are the exact same beliefs that end up being roadblocks to life in general and business specifically, later on. Imagine trying to step out into new skills with your business with the belief, “I can’t ever do anything right” running in your subconscious.

If you find yourself stumbling over the same issue time and time again, have some compassion for yourself. The roots of these old beliefs, habits, and patterns can run very deep. Not only do you have your own experiences, but our cells carry the DNA of our extended family and some of the stuff that we carry wasn’t even ours to begin with. Each time we are wounded, a part of ourselves becomes rooted within our system, at that age, continuing to experience the wounding.

This is exactly why energy work is such an important component to moving forward.

By working at the level of the energy system and the subconscious mind, we can heal all these old pieces without having to know exactly how they started. We can also heal the younger versions of ourselves, heal their wounds, and help them see what they couldn’t see as a young child.

By doing all of this, you free yourself from the old, old patterns that unconsciously continue to run the show of your life.

I watch so many business owners struggle unnecessarily against these ingrained patterns; running a business can be SO much easier. Aren’t you finally ready for it to be easy?

Jennifer Bloome is the Fertile Business Midwife. Jennifer helps people identify and heal the blocks that are keeping them from the prosperous, fertile, Soul-satisfying life and business they desire. Ready to transform? Visit JenniferBloome.com to set up your complimentary Belief Discovery Session to begin to identify and heal your personal blocks that are keeping you from your own prosperous life.

Comments

  1. Excellent post Jennifer! I love your invitation to let go of old patterns and learn to flow with positivity. We can heal by simply beginning to be mindful of the language we use. Nonviolent communication is something anybody can learn. Cheers. – Shann

    • Jennifer Bloome says

      Thank you, Shann!

      When we work on ourselves, we heal both forward and backward in time: to those we have yet to meet and to the younger parts of ourselves that were wounded. When I see others involved in such conflict, I know its just their wounding; it is hard to walk away sometimes. And absolutely, nonviolent communication can be something anyone can learn. Usually it starts with easing up on the communication we have with ourselves. We can be SO hard on ourselves, don’t you think?

      Jennifer

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