Where the rubber meets the road – day 5
So this is a familiar place.
I am now on Day 5 of the Feeling Good Matters Experience – a 30 day time period for me to focus on creating emotions that feel good, and then watch to see what happens.
The first two days were filled with very high energy and amazing coincidences, synchronicity, and prosperity.
And then it was almost if an “All engines stop. Full Reverse” command was issued.
To be fair, it wasn’t completely sudden; those commands came separately.
On day 3, it felt like the energy of forward motion stopped. No matter what part of my routine I tried, I didn’t get much movement. I’d feel good for a short time, and then I could feel it drain all away. And then, it was as if the Universe began lobbing all kinds of things at me – experiences that would try my emotional set point whether I was trying to feel good or not.
Day 4 and 5 were similar.
As I’ve taken a few days to reflect on what is going on, what I’ve come to discover is that committing to ‘feeling good’ created anxiety and fear at a deep level. Not at the conscious level, where OF COURSE it makes sense to want to feel good. But within those parts of me that have used anxiety and fear to keep me safe. Within the part of me that doesn’t particularly trust change.
These are the parts that are present at all times, under the surface, creating part of my vibrational experience, creating resistance to what my conscious mind wants. These are the parts, that although they served a useful role at one time, are now working in resistance to working within my life purpose.
This is where “the rubber meets the road” in this experience. I could decide to just let these parts have their way – they are rather persistent!. I could just let this experience slide. But, I’m ready to release these parts. They’ve served their function; I’m truly ready to release them.
As I write this, I am preparing for a two week trip to Glacier National Park. A perfect setting, I do believe, for opening up to these parts while surrounded by stunning beauty and many, many external opportunities to feel good.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
So what is up for each of you? How has it been paying attention to your emotions? How has it been to make a commitment to feeling good – what has it brought up for you?
One last question that’s been on my mind: what does it truly mean to make a commitment to “feel good”? Does it mean that we are setting the expectation to only have positive feeling emotions? Does it mean that there will never be sadness, frustration, or angst?
I do think there was a piece of me that wanted that to be true.
At the same time, as humans, we create through contrast. We expand the Universe through our experience of knowing what we don’t want and then stepping into knowing what we do want.
The commitment to feeling good to me, means that I am committed to paying attention to this amazing emotional guidance system (thank you Abraham-Hicks) that is within me. To feel the full range of emotions, but know that when the ‘negative’ emotions arise, that I am separating myself from Truth, from Source.
When I can release the parts of me that want things to stay the same, that ‘see’ certain types of emotions as unsafe or dangerous, now I am fully living. Now I am able to fully express. Now I am able to fully and completely step into my life purpose.
Now THAT feels good.